Feeling Connected

I had my meltdown on the phone with AJ tonight. I feel like I am becoming "disconnected" from him. I can't wait to text him in the morning or finally get to talk to him in the evening. The hardest part of this deployment is having him in the states, but so far away. He is trying his best to be the best leader he can be and stay focused for his Marines, but at times I feel like he is withdrawing from me. Not intentional and I don't think he realizes he is doing it. I found myself getting upset with him tonight as I wait by my phone for his call to find out he was watching TV in his room. Why didn't he call me? It turned into me getting emotional, and him not understanding me. We had lots of silence, because truthfully I was just angry and emotional. I just miss so much the casual talk throughout our day. I want to know everything that goes on in his day, exciting or not. I want to share everything with him, and quickly find myself keeping things to myself. I know this is just part of the roller coaster. We are all frustrated and ready to get this deployment overseas going. But instead we just wait. Wait for answers and wait to get it going so we can be reunited. I hate the fact he is missing out on so much. Our little guy will only be little for so long. I got to spend a lot of time just talking about nothing and catching up. I needed that so bad. I told him at the end of our conversation that I just needed it. I needed to feel connected with him. He replied by telling me not to be psycho any more. =) He will never get me.=)