Breaks My Heart

I keep seeing my fellow Marine wives facebook status change to " another deployment". Breaks my heart that there are lots of new babies and pregnant wives. I have to admit that approaching this deployment is a bit more scary.  I have a fear that (God forbid) something happened to AJ... Graycen would never really remember him. Aj hates when I bring stuff up like that. The man would leave without writing his will if Id let him. I know I can't let my mind go there, but can admit I've secretly thought about it all. It seems after getting a clearer picture ... its going to be a year long event. Several months of training and then overseas next year.

I feel horrible that our middle son, who is 8, went through the day thinking AJ was already in Afghanistan. Its going to be a long long year for him. He got weepy several times today. Breaks my heart.

Its been a long day. Hoping baby sleeos well. Daddy was nervous letting sleep in his room last night. I caught him jumping at his first move last night and a late night rocking session. I know he just wanted him close by. Can't imagine leaving him.