Wrapping Up

Whenever AJ leaves, I have always hidden notes in his bag. Today when I saw the suitcase I felt sick to my stomach. I knew our last day was here, but the realization that our longest stretch so far is upon us and it was going to be at least 8 weeks until we get another short visit. Then I think it will then be 8ish months. I know I can do it. I have done it so many times before, but it is so nice to have someone around to take care of me. AJ didn't let me touch a loud of laundry or most of the dishes when he was home. I had a perfect system to get them done each day, but I accepted the welcome break.
We had a rough start to the week. I think it was the rush of Christmas and going for several days. I regret the stupid stuff we argued about, but know that it is all part of the cycle of deployment. He would withdraw at times, I would withdraw at other times and even the kids would withdraw themselves. Brayden did not want to leave my parents house tonight because he didn't want to say good bye to AJ. He said " I hope I don't cry in the car." Breaks my heart.
We are spending a quiet night at home. AJ got some playtime with Graycen who constantly is saying "Dada". Poor guy is going to be disappointed when he is just left with Mom. Pray for strength. I am already an emotional mess on and off.