First Deployment- A Marine Wife's Story

My previous post got me thinking about my feelings as I faced our first deployment as a 19 year old. 2,000 miles away from home. I am not in the middle of our 6th deployment.

Dear 19 year old me,

So much for newlywed life. You thought by marrying your marine and moving halfway across the country, your long days apart would be over! Little did you know that it was only the beginning! You now spend weeks apart as your Marine prepares to deploy. You have thrown yourself into school and making new friends. You have put a lot of time and energy into getting to know the area and enjoy some of what southern California has to offer. You meet a group of wives who have been through multiple deployments and had multiple babies on their own, and you wonder how in the world they can be so strong. You think that will never be you.

Because your husband is only an E-3, you have one vehicle. You get up at zero dark thirty to take him to work. You sometimes wonder how in the world you made it back home, so exhausted. Back to bed you go, only to get up a few hours later to start your day as a full time student.

You and your Marine have one last exciting weekend planned before the good bye. After a late night pick up, you get home and joke along the way that it would be funny if they moved the deployment up (because of rising tensions in the middle east). (The year was 1998, and we hadn't been at war for years. Our generation of military families, didn't even really realize that it was a possibility. Our Marines were deploying to "keep the peace." )

Your joking would quickly turn into reality. Your husband would have 12 hours to pack his things, and the ship was leaving. You will spend the evening memorizing every inch of his body and his face. You will be afraid to fall asleep because you are not sure what the future holds. Your eyes can't cry any more tears. You are fearful of being alone, and the uncertain future.

The long dark drive would be made in silence. You will never have seen so many sad faces, and know that those images will be implanted in your brain for the rest of your life. The good bye would be torturous and it would take every ounce of your being to let him go.